I have this thing for percentages.
It might be because most mathematical calculations for me are an extension of percentages. For me everything from Probability to Geometry to Averages to <insert some math term here> is nothing but an extended form of percentages.
It might also be because everything is a percentage of something else. You, me, the person sitting next. Your dog. God, even.
Truth be told, it might mostly be because they are very sobering even to an insufferable narcissist. Not because I am one, but because they help me prove that I am, if not better, as good as they are.
And all those who look at percentages or who gloat about being among the top 5 or whatever percent they seem to quote, need to have a reality check.
Just because you are among the top 5% doesn’t make you different. It makes you the same.
India, as a country, has one billion people. That in numerals will translate to 1000,000,000. If you are among the top 5% of these, it means that there are at the very least (not considering the growing population) 50000000 people as intelligent as you are. If you are confused with the zeroes, the figure in letters will translate to fifty million.
This would mean that all the people that are at the same level of intelligence could easily populate the top three most populated cities in the world.
The next time you are among people gloating inwardly about how much better you are than the others, take a load of this. If you are in a city with 5 million people, there will at least be three people in a theatre that are as intelligent as you are – not counting the ones that are among the top 4, 3, 2, or 1 percent. In addition to the most intelligent person on the planet (who could be anywhere).
Now, you must be thinking that I am pretty sobered by that thought. I am not. The thought was to sober you. Not me.
Because I am better.
While you were busy nodding to yourself in your head while reading this (don’t bother trying to make yourself believe this was not the case. It is futile.), I was rubbing my hands in glee.
While all the 50 million people who are in the top 5% are busy populating the most populated cities in the world, it means the rest of the world is full of people who are not among the top 5%. It is because I was the one who sent you off imagining into cities where everyone is as intelligent as you are while I left myself to rule the rest of the world.
If you think this is not possible, think again. (if your brain is not as sharp as mine is – obviously – i will give a clue)
Hitler.
While Jews are generally acclaimed to be one of the most intelligent races in the world you know what happened in The Fatherland.
You might be intelligent, but I am smart.
On any given day, Smart pulls the pants down on Intelligence.
Feeling bad? Go to mum and complain.
For no apparent reason, I dedicate this post to Shaifali, Nisha Alex, Amrita Banerjee
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I was not nodding my head in agreement. I was waiting for the punchlines – right from the start of the post.
I am just amused.
I see them and you know yourself what those lines are
It is futile. You can say whatever you want.
What’s futile?
97%
Looks like it’s the same for both of us – that thing for percentages.
97%
What happened in the Fatherland?
The Jews grew smarter from being intelligent and found themselves a motherland.
Or are we referring to fatherland, the fictitious tale of how the world would have been if Hitler was alive and successful. This tale erroneously assumes that Hitler was strong enough to face and conquer the world. But in reality he was a lame arse who hung himself on the very first sight of failure. An end he deserved – he was killed by a Nazi.
ME: Feeling bad ?
Hitler: Yes !
Me: I’m sure you can find a rope or a vile of poison hidden safely as a backup plan.
Me: I’m sure you can find a rope or a vile* of poison hidden safely as a backup plan.
vial of poison
Dear Nisha,
Thanks for the comment!
For your sake, I wished sense of humour was on sale.
Also Nisha, it is Hanged, and not hung.
Good Day!